You know that poker hand you dream about? When you’ve been running so bad you resort to writing terrible poetry, but laying in bed or driving around in the car alone you imagine that special hand and what it would be like if that actually happened?
Perhaps you imagine being in a casino poker room and double your starting stack. But the most obnoxious player at the table has tripled his. He’s drinking too much, talking too much but slurring his words. He makes blind raises then backs into a winning hand, picking up chips through a series of improbable wins and gloating about it. His mere presence is a constant irritation. Even though you don’t actually know each other, you start feeling like there is a personal score that needs to be settled.
Mr. Obnoxious and you are the two biggest stacks at the table and you’re thinking, in your imagination, just get me the right spot to take him down. Yeah, you want his whole stack.
Maybe you will raise with a medium pocket pair, like nines, and he will 3-bet in a manner that telegraphs a very big pair. It’s got to be either pocket aces or kings. So you call, of course, because this could be it. And the dream continues when you hit top set on the flop, with two suited cards so he’ll have to consider that you might be raising as a semi-bluff. When he makes a strong bet on the flop, Ka-Pow! No matter how big of an overbet it is, you’re just going all-in right away, because it’s too much and that will confuse him. Besides, he’s half-drunk, so his decision making is impaired. Even the half-drunks can fold pocket aces when the board gets scary enough on the turn or river, but your flop overbet shove reeks of wanting him to fold. He can’t stand the thought of being bluffed, and his winning has made him start to think he’s invincible, so he calls.
He flips over his pocket rockets and you show your set. For the first time since he sat down, he’s speechless, realizing he just blew nearly 300 Big Blinds running through a stop sign and police barricade along the way.
Doesn’t everybody who plays poker have a daydream like this? Don’t you practice, in your mind, what you will say or how you will stare at the villain?
In my dream, I want to act like I’ve been there before. No hooting and hollering like I’m surprised or feel like I just got lucky. I want to stay in control, be cool, show everybody at the table this this is normal for me. So don’t F- with me as this session continues. Power commands respect.
Dear readers, I hope your dreams will come true too. Mine did. It feels awesome.
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